As Pete is by the seaside, probably near a pier that’s just been painted red, it’s up to me (#23) and Not Up
to You, to be Mr Writer for the day. As I’ve read every word of Pete’s previous match reports (ok
scanned), I’ll keep the format: reference music, mention the hockey and no doubt go off on a tangent.
References to Stereophonics throughout (3 so far) who were brilliant last week in Birmingham and well
worth negotiating the snow and ice on the A14. I may struggle to get Graffiti on the Train into the match
report, though.

If you’ve ever tried getting an online insurance quote for your pet gerbil for third party, fire, and theft
there’s always a drop-down menu for your occupation e.g. Archbishop, Dogsbody, Superman, Doorman,
Bartender and the Thief, but never the one you want. Mine usually comes up with “journalist” which is
stretching it a bit. Holding a hockey stick as well as a notepad and pencil, tablet or laptop so that I could
record the match faithfully doesn’t really work for me. So, the match report is down to my memory
and/or imagination … Half the Lies You Tell Ain't True.

Unlike the last time we played a Kettering team, the weather was mild - Nice to Be Out. We started
slowly and had a lot defending to do in the first 10 to 15 min. With the newly installed Coldham’s
scoreboard showing 16 min and 42 sec we scored. Julian drove down the right wing and crossed for
Matthew to slide in and score on the reverse – Geronimo! About 5 min later (the scoreboard was still
showing 16’ 42” - Stuck In A Rut) we scored our second. Will who was going a whiter shade of pale due
to illness, made space at the top of the D and his shot/cross was turned in at the far post by Sukhi. The
score remained the same until half time 2-0, or 99-87 Would You Believe, on the scoreboard.

Second half we had a fair bit of defending to do, which we did well with Rich making some important
saves. This was even with 10 men, as Hoddo had to go off for a while with a badly bruised wrist.
We finally conceded a goal from a PC with some time remaining. Umpire how long’s left? “6 minutes”; a
minute later same question, answer “7 minutes”. True.

Given the size of squads 16 vs 11 Chances Are history would be repeated, and we’d concede late goals.
But no, we continued to defend well and won 2-1. A special mention to Chris who covered every inch of
the pitch.

Shortly after the game someone, whose name might be Steve said “we play better when Pete’s not here”.
Just Lookin' at the games I’ve played and my record as captain is 2 wins out of 2. Just sayin’.

Some repaired to the pub but no Cryin' in Your Beer for them and no doubt there were Too Many
Sandwiches (nobody’s ever written a song called “too many sausages”). Extra sausages to anyone who
gets all the Stereophonics references. Have a Nice Day.